STOP THR PRESS 3rd annual Tim Hebert Chootout

[Spyphish]

STOP THE PRESS: BREAKING NEWS
Third annual Tim Hebert Hemi Chootout (THHC) to be contested at Jegs Sports Nationals (JSN), Bowling Green, Ky. Memorial Day weekend 2016.
In lieu of the recent demise of our beloved venue for the THHC, Cajun Sports Nationals in Belle Rose, La. An emergency board meeting of the Division Four Hemi Good Guys was held December 17, 2015 at 11:50 PM. I forged proxies from voting members Wolford, Kent, Henson, Palliot, Stewart and Moore and in teleconference with member Fazzallore who forged proxies for Lil’ Joe and Gordon. NO PROBLEM!!! (now that’s a pun). In unanimous consent the following business was conducted:

• A resolution to notify NHRA of our intent to contest the THHC at JSN Memorial Day weekend and in the spirt of that weekend allow any member of our Armed Services “here to see the Chootout” be granted free admission.
• A resolution to reelect Frito to the Chairman of “FREE SH*T” committee.
• A resolution to reelect yours truly as Chairman of “SMACK TALK” committee.
• A resolution referencing item III above, instructing after Holiday contact, brow beating, cursing, chastising and basically bugging the crap out of Hemi racers to come to the THHS at JSN. Especially the Farton (oops, my bad, F and B keys close on Cajun keyboard) I mean the Barton cars. Heck it’s twelve hours closer for them than Belle Rose.
• A resolution authorizing the reigning champion of the THHC (me) to place an international call from South Louisiana, north of I-10 across the Mason Dixon Line to Parma, Mi., the home of the inaugural champion of the THHC; Charlie Westcott Jr. After two rings “Sled” he said. I explained that two weeks after his upcoming pro stock win in Atlanta and one week before his projected pro stock win in Etown was the THHC at JSN. I further admonished him to get those raggedy camouflaged pink duct tape Garfish Plymouths under a ten foot stack of Happy Gilmore checks and seven US National trophies including the first 42.6 lb hemi head trophy “out of the attic” and come to the THHC. “Nice track, I’ll think about it” he said. Folks if you count “I’ll” as two words, that’s eight!!! Man we are communicating now…..
• A resolution to study the reception and perception of the syndication and renaming of the SPYPHISH Hemi to SECRETARIAT to win the 2016 triple crown. Ten syndicate shares at one million dollars each will be offered. (Jeff, I have reserved two for your group and only one for Larry since he has been profiled with the 5’ 20” status.)
• A resolution enlisting Donald Trump conduct a poll (tis’ the season) referencing the viability of item VI above. He was ecstatic! “We are doing great. Our (dyno) numbers or big. They are larger than any hemi engine shop in the country. We are going to win in Kentucky! We are going to win in Indiana! We are going to win in Pennsylvania! We are going to RUN THE TABEL! THE TRIPLE CROWN! The syndication is brilliant. The stud fees from the new Mopar pro stock team alone will be astronomical, not to mention the Farton Factory Shootout cars. With all this money, we are going to build a big beautiful wall. And this wall will have a big beautiful door. Only Mopars will be allowed through this door, no Ford or Chebbies. We are going to get this country back…………………………………… I love China.” Said Da’ Donald
• A resolution holding members harmless from “eggnog in the nose” from anyone that inadvertently reads these minutes.

Having no further business and crown royal, by motion by Fazzalore and second by Hebert the meeting was adjourned. 12:59 PM December 17, 2015.

Folks, just having a little wintertime fun.
Please keep Tim’s family and his Southland teammates in your thoughts and prayers during these holidays. More details on the race coming soon. See you next year.
Stephen Hebert SS/AH 403H