The Navy Invented Sex

[cicero819]

Just for you Eddie: Ads

Two Marines were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please."
When he returned to the lake, he found the Marines proudly standing beside two moose. "I told you Marines only one moose!" the furious flier screamed. "There's NO WAY the plane can take off with that much weight!"

"You're just a chicken pilot," one Marine said. "We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't afraid to take off."

Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered.

"All right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it."

They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the lake to begin his takeoff. The plane bounced across the water as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees.

Some time later, the Marines regained consciousness. "Where are we?" one asked.

His friend looked around at the scattered debris, then back at the edge of the lake and replied, "Oh, I guess about a hundred yards farther than last year, Claude

[Eddies66]

Originally Posted by cicero819

Just for you Eddie: Ads

Two Marines were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, "I'll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please."
When he returned to the lake, he found the Marines proudly standing beside two moose. "I told you Marines only one moose!" the furious flier screamed. "There's NO WAY the plane can take off with that much weight!"

"You're just a chicken pilot," one Marine said. "We killed two moose last year and that pilot wasn't afraid to take off."

Stung by the suggestion of cowardice, he reconsidered.

"All right, if you did it last year, I guess we can try it."

They loaded up and the pilot taxied to the far end of the lake to begin his takeoff. The plane bounced across the water as it strained to get airborne, but the overloaded aircraft finally ran out of space and crashed into the trees.

Some time later, the Marines regained consciousness. "Where are we?" one asked.

His friend looked around at the scattered debris, then back at the edge of the lake and replied, "Oh, I guess about a hundred yards farther than last year, Claude

Sweet, I will be going to Kodiak in July thinking about that evolution.

[SStockDart]

I thought the Army Infantry created sex????? When the Marines said "those F---ing grunts beat us to the objective again............Sorry Eddie, I couldn't help myself. I must be brainwashed. LOL

[Eddies66]

Originally Posted by SStockDart

I thought the Army Infantry created sex????? When the Marines said "those F---ing grunts beat us to the objective again............Sorry Eddie, I couldn't help myself. I must be brainwashed. LOL

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...oOh9y7H6efCOQ7


Some things never change, love the brotherhood.

[SStockDart]

Now that is funny.............how did that fat so get in the Army? Are you sure it is not a Marine with an Army T-Shirt? Lots of fat kids when I was drafted. Basic training nearly killed em. I distinctly remember a Navajo from New Mexico that was probably 300 pounds.............leaving basic he was probably 220. What is the TV show...........oh, biggest loser.........send em to basic and watch them lose weight. LOL

[SStockDart]

A platoon of Marines went on TDY and decided to go to the nearest wh--e house for some sex. The Marine platoon Sgt assigned private Peters to stay behind and keep an eye on things. When they entered the wh--re house, the madam said "how many of you?" The Marine Sgt said,"26 of us without Peters". The madam said "well come on in, we will improvise somehow"

[NewHemi]

[Rim shot] Good One! [/Rim Shot]

David
The New Hemi Guy

[Eddies66]

Originally Posted by SStockDart

Now that is funny.............how did that fat so get in the Army? Are you sure it is not a Marine with an Army T-Shirt? Lots of fat kids when I was drafted. Basic training nearly killed em. I distinctly remember a Navajo from New Mexico that was probably 300 pounds.............leaving basic he was probably 220. What is the TV show...........oh, biggest loser.........send em to basic and watch them lose weight. LOL

Gary, that is the real deal. The policy when I left the Corps was "zero tolerance" with regards fat bodies. They can't even be transferred to other unit while they are weight control.

When I was at MCRD we would take the recruits out of the training cycle and put them in the "pig farm" and put them on a diet and PT the crap out of them until they met the minimum standards. It is my understanding that the recruiters can not ship them if they are overweight.

Our women are in better shape than most men in the other services!

[Eddies66]

U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim.
I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will see
is a court martial for sexual harassment.
I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left.
On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home, because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter, better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back.
While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.
So help me God.

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