Trip to Italy

[Ed Fernandez]

Subject: The Trip to Italy
> A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her > life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could > throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. > > "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor and we are > off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care > of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy." > > With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always > wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted. That night the sailor > brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment > in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three > sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn. > Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine > inspection. > >> "What are you doing here?" asked the captain. > > "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He > brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy." > > "I see," the captain says. > > Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing > me." > > "He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."