Ortiz Unleached or Who Let Him Loose

[Ron Ortiz]

Well the racing season is quickly approaching and the following announcements are necessary for the adventures to come.

I will be running in both NHRA and IHRA for the begining of the year (Jan-April)

First is the IHRA Nitro Jam in W. Palm Beach. Really looking foward to this race as I will get to meet all the people I have read about or heard on this forum. Michael Beard, Gary Smith, Danny Waters, Chip Johnson, Terry Taylor, the Alfords, The Stotts, all the ladies, the tech crews, and friends that I have met before. I am really excited to meet them all.

The following week it's off to Immokalee for the double. I sure hope that someone has a big pull out flat screen to watch the super bowl if necessary.

Then we go to the NHRA side of things with the Bradenton divisional. This is my home track where I am not respected and beaten quite frequently. But I know of a great Cuban restaurant we can all go to and no it is not close by. It is called Jose's Real Cuban Food, and it looks like an old laundrymat, how perfect is that.

The next week it's the Gainesville divisional, where you can park close to the stands on pavement, just like the real pros.

A couple of weeks off and then the Gatornationals. Where you can see where you parked before, but are actually pitted outside the gate where you cannot see the stands.

Last year I took my son in law Sean around the pits at 9:00 PM on Friday. What a dissapointment. Everyone was locked away in their motorhomes and no parties to be found. It was not like that before in the past, but we have been domesticated by the Alan Peters Rule, darn it. But that does not matter because the party will go on at the Imperial Palace. Stop by and become a member of the fortunate people that have been to the Imperial Palace where memories are made and regrets are many.

A couple of weeks off and then back to W. Palm Beach for an IHRA TOC race.

Since I do not have a laptop my reports on insanity and weird observerances will be on Mondays. There will be truth in reporting with respect when needed. It will be straight foward with no punches pulled. Some individuals will be raised into stardom while others will fall into the pits of despair and anxiety. No one is safe from the observations to be made, you will be seen, and you will be reported on for all the world to see.

You will recieve the real scoop between the sanctioning bodies from an up close personal experience. I am really looking foward to these adventures and communicating them to you out there in Internetland.

Oh, and by the way, I sell great beef jerky and BBQ sauce to fund these adventures. Free samples are available at the Imperial Palace. Come on by and support my financial needs and be rewarded with great beef jerky. We have Smoked, Sweet BBQ, and Teriyaki. Also Peppered and various levels of "hot" jerky up to Nitro. People who have had this jerky are always repeat customers.

Well, thats it, hope to see you all, and reporting will be on Mondays.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA I see you.

(Disclaimer: The statements and future reporting are just that, reports and statements. They are not to be confused with any logic or reasoning or intended to be so. Reading these reports may contribute to boredom or over excitment. If detailed attention lasts for more than 30 minutes see a literature expert. Articles not to be read during showering or heated sex. All rights protected by Smith & Wesson.)