Ortiz Unleached or Who Let Him Loose

[Ron Ortiz]

Well the racing season is quickly approaching and the following announcements are necessary for the adventures to come.

I will be running in both NHRA and IHRA for the begining of the year (Jan-April)

First is the IHRA Nitro Jam in W. Palm Beach. Really looking foward to this race as I will get to meet all the people I have read about or heard on this forum. Michael Beard, Gary Smith, Danny Waters, Chip Johnson, Terry Taylor, the Alfords, The Stotts, all the ladies, the tech crews, and friends that I have met before. I am really excited to meet them all.

The following week it's off to Immokalee for the double. I sure hope that someone has a big pull out flat screen to watch the super bowl if necessary.

Then we go to the NHRA side of things with the Bradenton divisional. This is my home track where I am not respected and beaten quite frequently. But I know of a great Cuban restaurant we can all go to and no it is not close by. It is called Jose's Real Cuban Food, and it looks like an old laundrymat, how perfect is that.

The next week it's the Gainesville divisional, where you can park close to the stands on pavement, just like the real pros.

A couple of weeks off and then the Gatornationals. Where you can see where you parked before, but are actually pitted outside the gate where you cannot see the stands.

Last year I took my son in law Sean around the pits at 9:00 PM on Friday. What a dissapointment. Everyone was locked away in their motorhomes and no parties to be found. It was not like that before in the past, but we have been domesticated by the Alan Peters Rule, darn it. But that does not matter because the party will go on at the Imperial Palace. Stop by and become a member of the fortunate people that have been to the Imperial Palace where memories are made and regrets are many.

A couple of weeks off and then back to W. Palm Beach for an IHRA TOC race.

Since I do not have a laptop my reports on insanity and weird observerances will be on Mondays. There will be truth in reporting with respect when needed. It will be straight foward with no punches pulled. Some individuals will be raised into stardom while others will fall into the pits of despair and anxiety. No one is safe from the observations to be made, you will be seen, and you will be reported on for all the world to see.

You will recieve the real scoop between the sanctioning bodies from an up close personal experience. I am really looking foward to these adventures and communicating them to you out there in Internetland.

Oh, and by the way, I sell great beef jerky and BBQ sauce to fund these adventures. Free samples are available at the Imperial Palace. Come on by and support my financial needs and be rewarded with great beef jerky. We have Smoked, Sweet BBQ, and Teriyaki. Also Peppered and various levels of "hot" jerky up to Nitro. People who have had this jerky are always repeat customers.

Well, thats it, hope to see you all, and reporting will be on Mondays.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA I see you.

(Disclaimer: The statements and future reporting are just that, reports and statements. They are not to be confused with any logic or reasoning or intended to be so. Reading these reports may contribute to boredom or over excitment. If detailed attention lasts for more than 30 minutes see a literature expert. Articles not to be read during showering or heated sex. All rights protected by Smith & Wesson.)

[Jeff Teuton]

"Pits of dispair and anxiety". That must be short for 426 Hemi

[Woodro Josey]

So Ron, are you not doing the Lucas Oil race at one of our nicest Track's that we have in the South,,,South Georgia Motorsports Park,,,at exit 32 or 39 on I75 in Cecil?

[greg fulk]

Good Luck Rod....& watch that guy with Duct Tape on his car....he's a sand bagger!

[Ron Ortiz]

Woodro, I would like to go to SGMP, but the logistics does not make sense for me. If I was heading south from up north somewhere to the Gators it would be feasible. It was great when this particular race was in Orlando, but the Alky rule/requirement blew that deal.

The Imperial Palace is getting about 4.99 MPG, good for anywhere within 200 miles.
I guess that the mileage is pretty good considering the amenities, ie, full spacious bathroom with full tub and overhead adjustable sprays, long hallway entering spanning bedroom suite with a three sided elevated view, complete chefs kitchen, exquisite china cabinet, Royal Blue seating, aged wood flooring, tiered driving compartment, surround lighting, and an atmosphere that breathes exictment.

Grog, I have heard of this taped duct individual. I have scraped the internet for information and have come across his whereabouts, contacted him, and have invited him for a dinner engagement. He knows a mutual friend of which I cannot divulge his identity, but his initials are Billy Nees. It is becoming an adventure before the journey has begun.

Jeff, pits of dispair and anxiety are for the many, but your observation bears honorable mention.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA down home in Georgia

[Bill Koski]

What happened to Steve?

[Ron Ortiz]

Hey Bill, Steve is not running a car this year. He was driving Truman Fields E/SA last year. He recently got out of the hospital for thinning blood and he is OK now. He might go with us to W. Palm Beach, but not for sure yet.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA

[danny waters sr]

Look forward to seeing you Ron .. I'll be at the tech trailer most of the time (i hope).

[Jim Wahl]

Yeah! What Grog said, good luck Rod! Jom

[RANDY PAYNE]

Ron how is your wife. Biggg