If Car Company Slogans Were Honest

NewHemi · 01-18-2013, 12:25 PM

From http://jalopnik.com/5977020/if-car-c...=recirculation

For over a century now, carmakers have been bull****ting us with bogus For over a century, car companies have been bs-ing us with slogans and marketing nonsense.

Jalopnik readers came up with ten honest car slogans to set things straight.

We got the idea for honest car slogans when we saw Chinese carmaker Guangzhou Auto filling up its promotional material with complete nonsense. Even if you leave the unfortunate mis-translations aside, it's a shame to see a brand-new company stooping to the same old levels of stupidity to get you in the showroom.
We can set an example to the Guangzhou Autos of the world that you don't need to make up nonsensical phrases to sell cars. We can do better!

The only thing that's missing from this list is BMW. We got so many new BMW slogans (even we made up one ourselves) that we just couldn't pick a winner for the Bavarian Motor Works.

10.) Toyota

Because you don't like to shop around.
Suggested By: CobraJoe

9.) Volkswagen

Seeking world domination since 1938.
Suggested By: stirling.spera , Photo Credit: The Classic Beetle/VW

8.) Kia

Because your parents won't buy you a used 4Runner.
Suggested By: daddyfaces

7.) Honda

The Power of Laurels.
Suggested By: philaDLJ

6.) Ford

More in the next post, couldn't put all the pictures in one post.

David
The New Hemi Guy

NewHemi · 01-18-2013, 12:31 PM

http://jalopnik.com/5977020/if-car-c...=recirculation

5.) Lexus

"God damn, Larry. Look at you. Absolutely crushed it this year. Sold more home insurance than anyone else in the Triangle, NC area. Take your sales bonus and show your bastard neighbor Tom (who really needs to hurry the heck up and trim those briars back before you report him to the HOA) who's boss with a new ES. Drive it to work. Drive it home. Drive it to the Cheesecake Factory with your kids (has Sarah gotten past that punk rock phase yet?) and eat new-age enchiladas until your ulcerative colitis flares back up. You deserve it."
Suggested By: scrambledthedeathdealer

4.) Mercedes AMG

Because the doctor said using a clutch pedal was bad for your hip.
Suggested By: Frost

3.) Jeep

Mall Rated.
Suggested By: LastActionZero

2.) Rolls-Royce

The Ultimate Being Driven Machine.
Suggested By: Patrick Frawley

1.) Land Rover

Because your trophy wife deserves the illusion of integrity.
Suggested By: Duzer111

Anyone got any more or different "Honest Car Company Slogans"?

David
The New Hemi Guy

tj310 · 01-18-2013, 05:55 PM

#9 Save fuel on your next blitz krieg or leisurely trip to Paris ---Trevor

01-18-2013, 12:25 PM	#1
NewHemi Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Ohio Posts: 472 Likes: 0 Liked 1 Time in 1 Post	If Car Company Slogans Were Honest From http://jalopnik.com/5977020/if-car-c...=recirculation For over a century now, carmakers have been bull***ting us with bogus For over a century, car companies have been bs-ing us with slogans and marketing nonsense. Jalopnik* readers came up with ten honest car slogans to set things straight. We got the idea for honest car slogans when we saw Chinese carmaker Guangzhou Auto filling up its promotional material with complete nonsense. Even if you leave the unfortunate mis-translations aside, it's a shame to see a brand-new company stooping to the same old levels of stupidity to get you in the showroom. We can set an example to the Guangzhou Autos of the world that you don't need to make up nonsensical phrases to sell cars. We can do better! The only thing that's missing from this list is BMW. We got so many new BMW slogans (even we made up one ourselves) that we just couldn't pick a winner for the Bavarian Motor Works. 10.) Toyota Because you don't like to shop around. Suggested By: CobraJoe 9.) Volkswagen Seeking world domination since 1938. Suggested By: stirling.spera , Photo Credit: The Classic Beetle/VW 8.) Kia Because your parents won't buy you a used 4Runner. Suggested By: daddyfaces 7.) Honda The Power of Laurels. Suggested By: philaDLJ 6.) Ford More in the next post, couldn't put all the pictures in one post. David The New Hemi Guy

01-18-2013, 12:31 PM	#2
NewHemi Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Ohio Posts: 472 Likes: 0 Liked 1 Time in 1 Post	More: If Car Company Slogans Were Honest http://jalopnik.com/5977020/if-car-c...=recirculation 5.) Lexus "God damn, Larry. Look at you. Absolutely crushed it this year. Sold more home insurance than anyone else in the Triangle, NC area. Take your sales bonus and show your bastard neighbor Tom (who really needs to hurry the heck up and trim those briars back before you report him to the HOA) who's boss with a new ES. Drive it to work. Drive it home. Drive it to the Cheesecake Factory with your kids (has Sarah gotten past that punk rock phase yet?) and eat new-age enchiladas until your ulcerative colitis flares back up. You deserve it." Suggested By: scrambledthedeathdealer 4.) Mercedes AMG Because the doctor said using a clutch pedal was bad for your hip. Suggested By: Frost 3.) Jeep Mall Rated. Suggested By: LastActionZero 2.) Rolls-Royce The Ultimate Being Driven Machine. Suggested By: Patrick Frawley 1.) Land Rover Because your trophy wife deserves the illusion of integrity. Suggested By: Duzer111 Anyone got any more or different "Honest Car Company Slogans"? David The New Hemi Guy

01-18-2013, 05:55 PM	#3
tj310 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Dresden On. Canada Posts: 460 Likes: 0 Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: If Car Company Slogans Were Honest #9 Save fuel on your next blitz krieg or leisurely trip to Paris ---Trevor