Nookie Green
An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
>
> 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I
> had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'
>
> The priest sighed and told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say
> three Hail Mary's.'
>
> Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father , it
> has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green
> twice a week for the past two months.'
>
> This time, curiosity captured the priest: 'And who is this Nookie Green?'
>
> 'A new woman in the neighborhood', the sinner replied.
>
> 'Very well,' sighed the priest. 'Ye go and say ten Hail Mary's.'
>
> At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a
> tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.
> The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up
> the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and
> very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.
>
> The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and
> matching green shoes sat with her legs opened slightly apart, but just
> enough to suggest she wasn't wearing any underwear.
>
> The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'
>
> The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to stammer a
> reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.
>
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