Quick Thinking! One Smart Dude
 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot,
I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
I buy a drink,
I drop the cyanide capsule in
and sit here watching the poison dissolve knowing I only had 8 hrs left to live
and then you show up and drink the whole @#!*% thing!
"But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"