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-   -   They won't let me join the Armed Forces (https://classracer.com/classforum/showthread.php?t=42539)

NewHemi 08-16-2012 02:11 PM

They won't let me join the Armed Forces
 
It is age discrimination! Just because I am over 60, the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

I think they've got the whole thing absolutley backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't even be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy..

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am . Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bix

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft tasteless food.

We've also developed a great appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've seen movies of combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor do I think than anyone ever does any push ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, hair growing out of their ears and nose, and who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Maybe I can find someone with an old social security number they arent using, and can pretend to be 20+ years younger and go ahead and sign up myself....

Just a thought..

David
The New hemi Guy

Curmudgeon 08-16-2012 04:39 PM

Re: They won't let me join the Armed Forces
 
And how about , that those of us over 60 are more likely to be among the 7% who have served , therefore more likely to be experienced ..

goinbroke2 08-17-2012 12:46 PM

Re: They won't let me join the Armed Forces
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by curmudgeon (Post 341110)
and how about , that those of us over 60 are more likely to be among the 7% who have served , therefore more likely to be experienced ..

ain't that the truth!

treessavoy 08-17-2012 05:37 PM

Re: They won't let me join the Armed Forces
 
Hell Yeah,

Why I even still have my musket that I used while defending Atlanta from Sherman ! Let's go terrorist huntin"

JimR


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