80 y.o. wanna be biker woman
 

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.

One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. "She proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy was amused, but explains that she needs to meet certain criteria biker requirements in order to join the club. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there," and pointed to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?". The little Old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish...beer mostly, whiskey when I'm shooting pool. I'll drink everyone in your club under the table."

The biker is surprised but then asks, "Do you smoke?". The little Old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and cigars when I'm drinking whiskey and shooting pool."

The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz....?"

The Little Old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times......

Re: 80 y.o. wanna be biker woman
 

There was a terrible car/motorcycle accident , when the cop arrived , the outlaw biker was lying on the pavement not breathing . The cop pulled down the biker'spants and started blowing air up the biker's rectum . Just then the ambulance arrived . The EMT jumped out and asked the cop "what are you doing?' to which the cop replied "have you ever smelled a biker's breath?"