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-   -   Limited time offer! (https://classracer.com/classforum/showthread.php?t=32166)

Billy Nees 03-18-2011 08:51 AM
Limited time offer!
 
As it's come to my attention that the new FFFords can make it all of the way down to L/S now, I feel that the time is now right for me to offer (in conjunction with the West End Buck Hunting and Binge Drinking Club) to YOU, the Stocker racing community, the chance to learn, FIRST HAND, how to get out from under that old, no longer competitive, Stock Eliminator car of yours!
I will PERSONALLY begin holding 3 day classes on how to pick AND find old, oddball, overlooked combos that can be turned into perfectly good, servicable, competitive Stockers! For you Camaro lovers, I will also give instruction on how to determine what a 6 cylinder engine looks like AND I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they came with V8 engines that were NOT Big Blocks!
Day 1 will begin in the classroom (my kitchen table) with instruction into how the written English language and Math can come in VERY handy when trying to survive in Stock Eliminator in the 21st century! There will also be a very gray and vague lesson on the Rulebook and the language of Techspeak (which makes the English language skills you just learned a somewhat moot point) AND Fuzzymath(ditto those math skills)!
Day 2 will begin bright and early in some of Central Pennsylvanias fines Junkyards where you will learn the difference between a rotting POS and a fine candidate for a good lower class Stocker. I will also be giving tips on how to do bodywork with ducttape, spraybomb paintjobs and snakebite.And for you Camaro lovers I will show you what a REAL 307 2V engine looks like!
Day 3 will find us in my personal garage where I will be teaching you how to bull**** about all of the cars you COULD build while sharing a bottle of Cuervo with your buds.
As you can plainly see, you should be prepared for 3 wonderful days of fun and excitement not to mention all that you will have learned and even though I will have charged you WAAAAY too much, I can assure you it won't be as much as a new CJ.
Disclaimer; NO REFUNDS (I'll probably spend more on Cuervo and bail then you'll give me anyway). Hands will be checked at the door, no one with "pastey white girly hands" need apply. If you don't have grease under your nails and scarred knuckles, you will be turned away! In the event that you DO have "pastey white girly hands" and you decide that you want to enroll in the class anyway be warned, threatening me with more money will probably just piss me off and I AM armed.
I'll be looking forward to seeing you all!

danny waters sr 03-18-2011 09:01 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
LMFAO........I may want to learn more about the 6 cyl in the 66 novas.......lol

Daran Summerton 03-18-2011 09:13 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
I would like to be first on the sign up sheet, I have around $500 for a -1.30 under stocker. Don't really care what class. Does this include lodging??

art leong 03-18-2011 09:13 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Nees (Post 246708)
As it's come to my attention that the new FFFords can make it all of the way down to L/S now, I feel that the time is now right for me to offer (in conjunction with the West End Buck Hunting and Binge Drinking Club) to YOU, the Stocker racing community, the chance to learn, FIRST HAND, how to get out from under that old, no longer competitive, Stock Eliminator car of yours!
I will PERSONALLY begin holding 3 day classes on how to pick AND find old, oddball, overlooked combos that can be turned into perfectly good, servicable, competitive Stockers! For you Camaro lovers, I will also give instruction on how to determine what a 6 cylinder engine looks like AND I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they came with V8 engines that were NOT Big Blocks!
Day 1 will begin in the classroom (my kitchen table) with instruction into how the written English language and Math can come in VERY handy when trying to survive in Stock Eliminator in the 21st century! There will also be a very gray and vague lesson on the Rulebook and the language of Techspeak (which makes the English language skills you just learned a somewhat moot point) AND Fuzzymath(ditto those math skills)!
Day 2 will begin bright and early in some of Central Pennsylvanias fines Junkyards where you will learn the difference between a rotting POS and a fine candidate for a good lower class Stocker. I will also be giving tips on how to do bodywork with ducttape, spraybomb paintjobs and snakebite.And for you Camaro lovers I will show you what a REAL 307 2V engine looks like!
Day 3 will find us in my personal garage where I will be teaching you how to bull**** about all of the cars you COULD build while sharing a bottle of Cuervo with your buds.
As you can plainly see, you should be prepared for 3 wonderful days of fun and excitement not to mention all that you will have learned and even though I will have charged you WAAAAY too much, I can assure you it won't be as much as a new CJ.
Disclaimer; NO REFUNDS (I'll probably spend more on Cuervo and bail then you'll give me anyway). Hands will be checked at the door, no one with "pastey white girly hands" need apply. If you don't have grease under your nails and scarred knuckles, you will be turned away! In the event that you DO have "pastey white girly hands" and you decide that you want to enroll in the class anyway be warned, threatening me with more money will probably just piss me off and I AM armed.
I'll be looking forward to seeing you all!
Hey Billy do you want to hire a guest lecturer?

art leong 03-18-2011 09:15 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daran Summerton (Post 246711)
I would like to be first on the sign up sheet, I have around $500 for a -1.30 under stocker. Don't really care what class. Does this include lodging??
Daran you can't go that fast till you spend at least a thousand.

Billy Nees 03-18-2011 09:29 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Daran, yes! lodging is included! If you don't drink Cuervo then BYOB!
Art we fully expect to have "guest lecturers" in future seminars!

Doug Blackley 03-18-2011 09:56 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
I have heard rumors that Camaros came with fewer than 8 cylinders, any truth to this? How about publishing a Techspeak to English translation book with a fuzzymath conversion table in the back. Might be a best seller.

CycloneFE 03-18-2011 10:05 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Excellent POST Billy!!! I love it.

Seems back in the 70's while in high school, I worked at a Sears Auto center. Once I do remeber seeing a 6 cyl Camaro, and I even saw one with a bench seat. I even saw a 402 Monte Carlo.

You bring back memories.

Mike Taylor 3601 03-18-2011 10:19 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Doug,
I believe your're body style even was available with less than 6 cylinders!
Billy,
It sounds like I will fit the greasy finger nail,scarred knuckles qualifications,oh krap I maybe overqualified,I can be designated driver for class field trips,I did'nt come equipped
with that many brain cells so I was always scared adult beverages might hurt the couple good cells I may or may not have.
I could get Randall Campbell to guest lecture on how to stay in your lane when your 58MPH wagon when A/D passes you after finish line.
Mike Taylor 3601

hookdaddy 03-18-2011 10:25 AM
Re: Limited time offer!
 
Billy - when you're ready to take the show on the road, I have the perfect spot here in D-2


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