i might have screwed up
 

Donna has been in Tucson for about a week tending to her ill father. Our house is getting a little messy, so, the "mans man" that I am, I sent her a text....."Hi honey, I love you...you need to get your azz home. The house is a mess and I am sick and tired of picking up after myself". She will be home Wednesday. I already unloaded all the guns and hid the cast iron frying pans.....am I missing anything? I will give you the report from the hospital on Thursday.

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Put the Poison Control Center hotline number in your phone.

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Good one...lMAO

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I've been cleaning the pool and just realized that the full bottle of vodka she left me with......is now empty.....crap...do you think she will know the difference if I fill the bottle with water? I'm starting to worry.

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I would stack the deck in your favor as much as possible. The quieter she is when she arrives the more you need to worry.

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Better have a bottle of red wine and a chocolate cake for her when she get's home.

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Another problem........the Jack Daniels bottle is half empty. When Donna has a drink, she prefers Jack and Coke. Should I just water down a little Coca-Cola and fill the bottle back up???? Oh, btw, it doesn't take me long to clean our pool. I just flip it over and refill it.....got it at Walmart. LOL

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Gary...........I don't have and answer for you but the story is getting good Lol

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. I've been thinking about getting some sympathy from Donna. That way she doesn't beat the crap out of me. I don't know if a heart attack will do it, but might be worth a try.....what are the symptoms?

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Well if you thing she may beat the crap out of you give her a lot of jack and coke first out at the pool. Then let her go in the house you may get the free pass this time. Good luck Gary.

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This is Donna, I have hijacked my former husband's thread. I will be home Wednesday....services for Gary will be held Saturday. BTW I have a 68 Dart and a 69 Roadrunner for sale.

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Gary..........You have till wednesday get a lot of sleep you will need it Donna is pissed Lol.

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Hey Dennis, thanks for playing along. I know, you know that this is a joke. The fact of the matter is, I miss her (funny how that works). I copied Donna on these comments and she is cracking up. I see you are in New Jersey...I've never been there. The furthest east we have raced is Ohio. If and when our paths cross, let me shake your hand.......until then, the black cast iron frying pan is hidden. LOL

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Gary I needed a good laugh thankyou for it was a good story. If I am ever out by you would like to shake your hand also. Thanks again clean that house Lol.

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Hey Dennis, don't go to bed yet... Its only 10 here. (Az time). John Shaul is a friend of mine. He goes back a long way with Steve Wann (my engine builder). John is a straight up guy and I was there when he won in Vegas (we went 5 rds). I am sure yuy race with John on the East coast. Tell him hi.

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Years ago I lived in vegas I know about the time. I do see John at the races will say hi for you next time I see him. You doing any racing this year or staying close to home hate them fuel prices.

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Hey Dennis.... We recently moved back to Arizona. We chased points until last year. Fortunately, we have 4 division races within 300 miles. Next year we will try to start the year off right with the Dart...if we go a few rounds, then we will chase the points again....until then, we have our stocker that I run at near by $$$ races. Donna and I love going back to the midwest and racing. We have made at least 1 trip a year for the past 6 years. As I get older, I prefer to stay closer to home...we will make at least one more trip to the midwest with the Dart. After that...we will see....I'm not getting any younger and Donna has not had any "seat time"...yet

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I raced in vegas when I lived there but it was at the old track not one that is there now. Other then that ohio for jegs sportsnational for me. From where I live I have atco and englishtown are 45 mins away cecil county and maple grove are 2 1/2 away. I hate that getting older stuff gets in the way Lol.

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We have had some success in Joliet and St Louis...but we really enjoy the people. Great folks.....we broke transmissions last trip and had many folks helping out.....really good memories of good people.

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Well Gary calling it a night was good talking to you and again thanks for the laughs.

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Me too...g nite.

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Don't know how long you have been married, but you can't fool a wife that has been around for a while...and don't forget she might have marked the bottle....or anything else that she thought you might tell tells about....So think before you try to fool her...Good luck

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Gary, I am going to have to teach you how to cowboy cook and sleep in a Butler Bag outside. The wife comes home and nothing has changed or dirtied, works for me every time.

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I got out of the hospital this morning. This interaction with a cast iron frying pan was only worth one night in the hospital. As Donna was driving me home.......I may have made another mistake when I said "is that all ya got". Geez, I hate frying pans.

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I am not too old to learn from my experiences. What I have learned is....if you around someone with chicken pox, you get chicken pox....if you are around some with mumps, you get mumps.....and if you around a PO wife with a cast iron frying pan, you get blurred vision.

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Gary...........If you need more bandages let me know will overnight them to you hope you heal fast buddy.

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Hi Gary, glad your OK... This thread hits home for me as Sue took off and left for a 10 day vacation with her mom and sisters to Virginia Beach.Its a full time job around here just taking care of the dogs. Their food takes a recipe to prepare( I'm not going to go int it, you guys will have her committed, and then I'll be without her for good).
But reading your post, I'll try not to make all your mistakes.....
BTW, on a side note ,we finished up with that contract last Monday.It passed overwhelmingly ,so I think we did well....Talk later

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Congratulations for your successful contract, Jeff.

I looked in the mirror this morning and on my bald head I have an imprint from the bottom of the frying pan: "norI tsaC ASU ni edaM" yep, it is backwards. God, I hate "comb overs" but it looks like that is the only solution.

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Gary,remember this?

http://youtu.be/2GeF7A05zQ8


3 more to go.

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I remember, Ed. I think I would rather take a >>>>>>>>oh, never mind LOL

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Oh man....I keep getting deeper and deeper without thinking. I got a mouth full of "Red Man", put on a white T shirt, shorts with black socks and wing tips, and told her I was going out to find a wife that appreciates me.....Gawd I hate that frying pan.

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Gary..............The care package is ready to ship.

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Thanks Dennis, I will be watching for the package....ya know, I have been walking around in my Speed-o all afternoon and I still don't have any takers... I am starting to wonder about women these days. I just don't get it... A 64 year old man with a bald head, Red Man stained T-Shirt and a Speed-o. Ya would think these women would have some class and want me...is it just me? BTW, the pool water was gettin too hot so I flipped it over and refilled it with the hose....it is great now....oh crap...Donna just pulled out of the drive way with her bags packed.....as soon as I can find my roller skates, I think I will go look for her. (PS...don't ever tell Donna about this thread). LOL.

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You need to get out of the heat have a cold one or more Lol............A speedo

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Try extreme chest pains, with pain going down the arms, and up and into the jaw ! Which probably will be hurting after she figures out the phony heart attach !.....John........... Past experience!

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I was showing my lady this thread, and we both laughed. She said don't forget, I have two cast iron skillets, so before you get any ideas about .....anything but me...... be warned in advance......

I have found a new use for my racing helmet. The skillets still make a lot of noise when they hit, but they still hurt a little bit less because of tehehelmet. And thankfully she doesnt check the SFI expiraration date on it so I dont have buy a new one every two years.

Funny stuff Gary....

David
The New Hemi Guy

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You should be using a neck roll when she grabs the larger one.

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The surgery for detached retina went well. The concussion apparently wasn't so bad. However, I seem to have developed a new situation that I can't explain. I don't know if it is from the concussion or just old age. I seems that when I laugh, I soil myself. I went to Walmart yesterday and saw something that made me laugh. Sure enough, I soiled myself and left a mess on the floor. I really felt bad about it. I saw an intercom phone so I picked it up and said "clean up in aisle 5". Then I started feeling really embarassed so I went around the corner to watch. Sure enough the employees showed up and saw the mess. They started looking around to see who made it and didn't see me. All of the sudden, I started laughing and oops.............well, to make a long story short, when I got to the police station........................................... .......................they called Donna and she told them to keep me. I should get out in a week or two.

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Gary..........Glad the surgery went well I don't thing Donna will let you leave the house. Also I can add a box of depents to the care package if you need them. Other then that hope all is well and the heals is coming along.

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While at the polcie station, a female officer asked me "boxers or briefs?". I said "Depends".