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Old 04-10-2012, 09:11 AM   #11
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Default Re: The Navy Invented Sex

Originally Posted by SStockDart View Post
Now that is funny.............how did that fat so get in the Army? Are you sure it is not a Marine with an Army T-Shirt? Lots of fat kids when I was drafted. Basic training nearly killed em. I distinctly remember a Navajo from New Mexico that was probably 300 pounds.............leaving basic he was probably 220. What is the TV show...........oh, biggest loser.........send em to basic and watch them lose weight. LOL
Gary, that is the real deal. The policy when I left the Corps was "zero tolerance" with regards fat bodies. They can't even be transferred to other unit while they are weight control.

When I was at MCRD we would take the recruits out of the training cycle and put them in the "pig farm" and put them on a diet and PT the crap out of them until they met the minimum standards. It is my understanding that the recruiters can not ship them if they are overweight.

Our women are in better shape than most men in the other services!

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Last edited by Eddies66; 04-10-2012 at 01:07 PM.
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Old 04-10-2012, 10:32 AM   #12
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Default Re: The Navy Invented Sex

I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim.
I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will see
is a court martial for sexual harassment.
I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left.
On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home, because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter, better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back.
While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.
So help me God.

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Old 04-10-2012, 10:38 AM   #13
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Default Re: The Navy Invented Sex

A tribute to the United States Marine Corps and the reasons why they are superior to the many organizations of the world . . .

1) Best haircut. Hands down. You can't have a bad hair day with a high and tight. And you spend less on shampoo.

2) Dress blues. They're the coolest uniforms in any military worldwide.

3) Bloused trousers. Another distinctive Marine look that sets the proudest service members apart.

4) The rest of the Marine sea bag. From the Alphas to the camouflage utilities, uniforms just look better on a Marine than any other service member.

5) Marines don't wear dungarees.

6) Most respect I. When the Marines pulled out of Haiti and Somalia, the media reported the U.S. military was pulling out -- as if tens of thousands of Army troops weren't still in the country. Now that's respect.

7) Most respect II. When the Corps came back to Haiti after 60 years, an old man on the Cap-Haitien beach said ``Welcome back!''

8) Toughest mascot. The Marine Corps' is a bulldog. The Navy's: a goat.

9) Esprit de Corps. Even if you can't spell it or pronounce it, the Marine Corps has it in spades. One example: When sailors get tattoos, they do it to express their individuality, and their choices range from Betty Boop and Mickey Mouse to raging sea serpents. When Marines get tattoos, they do it to express their solidarity, and choose bull dogs, ``death before dishonor,'' and ``USMC.''

10) Best war monument: Iwo Jima

11) The Marines invade, then go home. The Army has to do the occupying.

12) The silent drill team. Just watching them ply their trade makes you want to wear dress blues.

13) Status. Sailors live and work on ships. Marines go for cruises -- then hit the shore.

14) Best fast attack vehicles: LAVs.

15) Best fighting knife: Ka-Bar.

16) Best duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.

17) Worst duty assignments: Okinawa, Kaneohe Bay, Camp Pendleton, Diego Garcia, Moscow, North Carolina. Plus any ship at sea.

18) Most exotic duty assignments: Kuala Lumpur, The White House.

19) Best phone number. Call 1-800-MARINES and you've got the Corps. And if you're a civilian with the character to be a Marine, a recruiter there will be happy to sign you up.

20) Toughest DI's. (Drill Instructors). They're so tough that when the Navy wants to train its officers, who do they call? 1-800-MARINES.

21) Toughest boot camp. When San Diego was still training Navy recruits, legend has it that recruits occasionally would jump the fence and accidentally land in Marine boot camp. The Marines would keep them a couple of days, and when the recruits were sent back, they were ready to be sailors!

22) Best motivational cries: Ooh-rah! - Attack! - Kill!

23) Best emblem: Eagle, Globe and Anchor. (Air, Land and Sea)

24) Best campaign covers: The Smokey Bear hat.

25) Separate heads for enlisted and officers. Everywhere else, officers and enlisted use the same pot.

26) The only official, congressionally sanctioned hymn for any of the services: ``The Marines' Hymn.''
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